BROKEN WINGS

I had risen towards the light that summoned me
What seemed, I hoped to be my destiny
I dared to dream & dreamt to live
To be the hero, to be the swift

Thought I knew it all, never listened,
Was getting a life out of that labyrinth
I chose to learn, but not live to teach
On how to dream & stars to reach

Still dreaming of another flight I burn,
Hoping for my parting soul to return
To give me another flight, a dream to fulfill
Only to realize, I was flying with broken wings

Thought I knew it all, never listened,
Was getting a life out of that labyrinth
I chose to learn, but not live to teach
On how to dream & stars to reach

I fell from the skies, parted from this life
I left, let only my dreams to survive
But he can only yearn to see his son
Has only ashes to show, ashes to burn

WHEN YOU LOOK ITO THE MIRROR

You see yourself in the mirror

You wish to touch her but draw back

For you fear your mask will crack,
from the warmth of your hand
the cold stone face will fade
to leave you standing alone......afraid

With whose eyes do you wish to see the world?

Whose thoughts do you wish to read?

Why please the people around you?

What do you see when you look into the mirror?

Break free form all these role plays

No one is worthy to judge you
Why don’t you want her to see you?

To know you, to be you, to hate you

Just pull the trigger, shatter the glass

Break that glass, stop this life farce

With whose eyes do you wish to see the world?

Whose thoughts do you wish to read?

Why please the people around you?

What do you see when you look into the mirror?

You let that tear drop fall, that is who you are.

You see her lying there beside you, trusting you

It is not even after last night she knows

That you are afraid of you, afraid of her knowing you

You fail to let her come close, to get close

That mirror you see her in, will always be

With whose eyes do you wish to see the world?

Whose thoughts do you wish to read?

It is only you who can break free.

Give her what she needs, you, not the sham you see.

CRUCIFY THE ROSES-II

The black wood torched as a dying old man’s face
The strewn embers still sizzle, tears roll down,
I can’t bear any longer, I think…
How, in a heap of blistering grey ash that door still stands?
The scorched roses still calling me to take a step in the simmering ashes
To teach me the futility of this war, these clashes

Isn’t that His barb crown, dead center of the foyer?
Why should they get away with hurting Him, wanting to defeat Him?
I can’t bear any longer, I wonder…
They forced me to kill…shaking hands was too difficult for them
Their minds destroyed the peace, the tranquility
They just crucified the roses

The torched wreath still feels welcoming to me
I take a step toward & the ashes cover me, rose from underneath my feet
I can’t bear any longer, I see…
Suddenly, a wall of embers faces me, forces me to retreat
That is what this war has taught me, battling them is futile
I would only scar…myself I will despise

The utopia is scorching, blazing in front of me
It is ironic, what I see now, must be happening to my city
I can’t bear any longer, I believe…
They bring roses for their wives, into their merry lives
For reasons, beyond my rational understanding
They have taken the soul away, my rose away, have crucified my roses…

LEAD ME TO THE LIGHT

Do not wish to wet my eyes & blur my vision

I still have a long way to go, a will to get out

To understand all around me, to answer my doubts

Am only waiting for someone to whisper

Who will lead me to the light?

My thoughts need a road to follow

My path desires a purpose

My body wishes for a will

My heart needs passion

And my life needs a meaning

I walk now, moving ever so anxiously

A light is all I see, that is what pulls me

It answers my questions, fuels my curiosity

But, is there is an end to this at all, or is that a myth?

Or will it only take me into the depths of this labyrinth?

My thoughts question the road to follow

The purpose of my path still unknown

The will I have needs reassurance

The passion in my heart needs sustenance

And the life I lead waits for its uncertainties

Absorbing all that I see around me, I now run

I run toward the light that calls me, one who answers

Who gives me more questions to think about…speak about,

To make me a man, face this life & those around

Still, come back to guide others around

ASHES TO FLAMES

Torched me as I lay still on the copse

For those who sulked…nothing but a corpse
Can feel her hearts willing to give up
Still beating….still hoping…

Ready I was, for He who calls
Towards the bright white light I walk
Blazing ashes remind them….she was never reckoning
The wood I see, withering…fading
My hearts repenting…of all sins
My heads playing with me…I fear Him
Rising above the sky, I look into those waiting eyes
Pulled out of myself, I look into those waiting eyes

Ready I was, for He who calls
Towards the bright white light I walk
Blazing ashes remind them….she was never reckoning
The wood I see, withering…fading
I moan & resist…for my heart no more wishes
Promised I would never leave…damn promises, how easy
Don’t adopt me, for I am not worthy of you
Your love, care or your gratitude
Those eyes say it all, what they want…not grief
Let me make her ready for me…to leave

It is He who repents…to leave her crying
Its not flames to ashes, but ashes to flames this time.

STRUGGLE IN MY STRAIGHT JACKET

Have held me back in this cage

Have quit struggling, forgiven all, corked my rage
I know it’s the only way to come out breathing
Out of this cage, out with all the rage
They can’t change the way I think, all that I believe
I will learn myself, u don’t need to teach me

Into a free world, I can only picture in my mind
Who are they to keep me struggling in my straight jacket?
I see them in a cage when I look out
Only that my world is smaller, that’s it

How do these hypocrites justify all they do?
Strap me tight & lock me in a rubber room
Do they want me not to hurt myself or do they want me to?
I’m not a slave to all your beliefs or your disbeliefs
They can’t punch your brass knuckles into me anymore
I will figure it out myself; you don’t need to clear it for me

Into a free world, I can only picture in my mind
Who are they to keep me struggling in my straight jacket?
I see them in a cage when I look out of my window
Only that my world is smaller, that’s itLeave me alone & let me go,
Let me burn, let me grow
Help me get my wrath out,
I truly want to curse someone now

Who are you to let me struggle in my straight jacket?
I’m free as a bird in my own world.

CRUCIFY THE ROSES

The black wood torched as an old man’s dying face

The strewn embers still sizzle, tears roll down, I can’t bear no longer
I think…
How, in a heap of blistering grey ash the door stands?
The scorched roses still call you to rest your foot, in the simmering ashes

Had you just nailed the door, or did you crucify the roses?

You’d held a wreath of roses in one hand & a nail in the other
It took just one blow, to stab it through the lumber
I wonder…
Wasn’t that His barb crown, now dead center of the foyer?
But if that wasn’t the wreath, maybe it wasn’t the timber either.

Had you just nailed the door or did you just crucify the roses?
The utopia scorching in front of your eyes
They too know your time has passed.
I believe…
You had crucified the roses
Crucify the roses…

THE MASK I FACE IN THE THEATER OF LIFE

Fear the face I say, for it’s not me
But how you all want me to be
They couldn’t find an artist to smile
Got me a new face that could never frown

Disgust I feel, it’s just not me
It’s not a new face I crave; new life’s what I need
I see the world in black...black alone
The eyes are cut out, black I will still see

I shout the lines to make you hear
How much I suffer, why the new face I fear
They couldn’t find an artist to smile
Got me a new face that could never frown
It’s not sweat but tears you see gleaming
In the spotlight, jewels they seem
Mist surrounds me as I crouch
I look around, to find my feet still on the ground
Rise above it all; feel I soar far over the skies
Only to realize it’s a stage, it’s a lie

I shout the lines to make you hear
How much I suffer, why the new face I fear
They couldn’t find an artist to smile
Got me a new face that could never frown
It’s not sweat but tears you see gleaming
In the spotlight, jewels they seem
I take a bow, rid myself of the face
Look into the mirror, only to see
I made myself another pearl,
Just under my eye

QUESTIONS IN MY MIND

Lying on the floor, I wonder how it is
What after I seize to exist?
Will Satan make me his prey?
To be born again, is it a thought gone astray?
I think to myself, what I have done yet
To become human again

How can He decide heaven or hell?
When good & bad, we have defined
Why do they say we forget & start afresh?
Maybe just an excuse, not to fear your last breath

Can’t find the answer…

How will it be if human I shall stay?
Why can’t I remember from the past...thought he was pleased
He maybe doesn’t want to reveal
Who we were…or rather who He is
I say make them forget, who are left behind
I will get a new life, how will they survive?

How can He decide heaven or hell?
When good & bad, we have defined
Why do they say we forget & start afresh?
Maybe just an excuse, not to fear your last breath

Can't find the answer....

Have to start over…I’ll have to relive it
I guess…death I’d like to feel it

SOME ANSWERS

Facing the bright blinding sun
Kneeling down with my hair undone
Closest to Him as I can be
Cursing Him for all my misery
Without missing my soul
Without losing my soul

I need answers….& I know

Shadows of the past are left behind
Only to be seen if u look behind
You walk into the light so enchanting
You fear moving on, & forget to embrace
All that you had & what you had faced

It’s like I’m two faced
One for myself & other for the world
Why it can not be one? I ask
Why does there have to be such contrast?
I’m not to be blamed coz I want only bliss
For I’ve seen too much, I know sorrow exists

I need answers….& I know

Shadows of the past are left behind
Only to be seen if u look behind
You walk into the light so enchanting
You fear moving on, & forget to embrace
All that you had & what you had faced
Will you rid me of grief?
Or will it stay as it is?

I need answers….demand answers.

SHOULD I REST IN PEACE?

Got tired of running this way
Wished death shouldn’t catch up today.
Don’t want a tombstone in my name
Don’t want to be laid in the grave
Don’t want the gun shot salute
Don’t want my girlfriend to find out
Not now, oh lord not now

The soul gives up & drifts away
For whom is Rest in peace carved anyway?
For he who mourns the passing
Or for whom now God embraces?
Whose life will I be allowed to spare?
When will I go from this mass grave?
When will their lust for blood satiate?
With the next shot of my musket?
Have seen enough of bodies give up on their souls
Killing still….just to get home

The soul gives up & drifts away
For whom is Rest in peace carved anyway?
For he who mourns the passing
Or for whom now God embraces?
Rest in peace don’t you say
After you took all the peace away
The three words I fear to be engraved
I miss in my life deranged.

I wonder & ask…..

Why is R.I.P. carved anyway?
For he who mourns the passing
Or to mock peace….everyday

LESSONS I LEARN

Been a while since I stopped the fascination
About the righteous path of my existence
There is no destiny that I fear
Or any rituals I have to adhere
Life is full of choices, one has to make
& then move on to yet another stage
Where you are to make choices yet again
To take you on a path you wished to attain

I’ve been breathing for long
& wondering all along
How this life goes on
& what lessons I learn
“Can’t always live a joyous life
Don’t worry my child u will suffice”
Got a reply after my longing appeal
Or was that just to kill the monotony
Life can’t be understood in just one word
It combines two contrasting worlds
I wonder how the troops can survive
When they have death stare them right in the eyes

I’ve been breathing for long
& wondering all along
How this life goes on
I think that’s my final lesson learnt

FALLING FOR LIFE

I took a step forward
Only to find myself falling

Falling free from these shackles
To be prepared for the battles
Those which I have to face
& still those I will embrace
Had the wind in my face
Pulling my cheeks away
With the ground coming to me
& trees, getting better to see
I didn’t spread my wings
I just let it be
I flew into the sunlight
Or in to the moonlight
That I had to decide
With no one to adjudge

Falling free from these shackles
To be prepared for the battles
Those which I have to face
& still those I will embrace

I have the wind to support me
Sunlight feeding me energy
Trees always to accommodate
& the skies to listen & appreciate
All I wanted was to break free

I flew far & wide, only to realise
Just how real, staying on land can be

DEATH DECIDES LIFE

Standing in the silhouette
She thinks of the tourniquet
Blood rushes out, draining her life
Still doesn’t think of demise
Hoping this rage would take over
To forget all her misery

If death is something to be feared
& your life is not so surreal
Keep breathing, for life can turnover
Well death you will still fear
She stands still in the red sand
No tears in her eyes & thoughts out of hand
She has cut & bruised herself
But never believed she’d die helpless
Her limbs are nailed to the rotten wood
In the silhouette motionless she stood

If death is something to be feared
& your life is not so surreal
Keep breathing, for life can turnover
Well death is certain, she does not fear
Why should anyone die like this?
With nailed ankles & bloody wrists
Going closer saw it wasn’t a woman
With a thorn crown, it is beyond being human.

Keep breathing, for life can turnover
Well death is certain, He does not fear

WALKING TALL

Was walking tall, down the road

Thought my life was in control
The denial was wearing me down
Longed for the sun to fade out
But feared the darkness would come about
For I couldn’t see where I’d reach out

Realized the road just can’t be straight
Had a feeling it is all determined by fate
Thought that, I was really in control
Was walking tall down the road
All I saw was the horizon
Was walking, but everything seemed frozen
Strangers passed & I was least bothered
Until “she” was all I could think of
I gave up my soul, so we could have something in common
Soon to find I had hit rock bottom
Had lost the faith, lost the trust
Lost the will to stand back up

Realized the road just can’t be straight
Had a feeling it is all determined by fate
Thought that I was really in control
Was crawling now down the road
A streak of light struck me
Then I realized it was dark all around me
A precious thought was what it was
Satan pinned me to the ground
Now I longed for the sun to rise
To begin my journey on my feet again

Thought that I was really in control
Was walking slower, feeling alive….alone.